I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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