Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
