My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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