why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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