Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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