Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My life is pants optional.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
