If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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