Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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