I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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