forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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