Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
