You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
