I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize