I don't think brook has ever known best
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
