My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
