Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
