Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize