I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
