im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize