i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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