And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize