If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
