i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Rumble strips road head = magical
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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