Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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