wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
