It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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