so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Michael Bay diarrhea
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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