...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
