the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
