its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
