i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So many bounce houses so little time
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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