He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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