Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize