wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish I only lived at night.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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