Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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