Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize