literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
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Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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