if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
