Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
