i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
