i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize