mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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