In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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