wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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