When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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