So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
