Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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