I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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