Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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