I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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