I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
