i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize