marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
