The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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