I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
